hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
