I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
Randomize
