You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Randomize
