Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
