She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
She has the best kind of daddy issues
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
