I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
