I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
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