I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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