Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
