A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize
