"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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