We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
Randomize
