so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
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