We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
