I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
