her vagine was all disorganized.
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Randomize
