i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
