The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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