; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
