We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
Randomize
