you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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