I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
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