i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize
