we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
I got inside last night via doggy door
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Randomize
