R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
Randomize
