i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
