You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
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