It's Friday. Sex?
He kissed a someone with a penis
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize
