i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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