Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
How's work?
Spinning.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Randomize
