We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize