I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh�
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
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