You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
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