So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
