I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
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