i can't believe i had my finger in that
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
