Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
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