i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
