Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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