The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
Just high enough for therapy.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
