OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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