But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
