it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
