the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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