why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
