don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
she told me i tasted like america
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Randomize
