I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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