if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Randomize
