Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
The convent might be a nice break from real life
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Randomize
