This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
Randomize
