So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
