I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
Just puked most of my soul out..
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
